C h u c k A n d C l e t u s 2 . c o m d u m b E c a r d s . c o m r a u n c h y E c a r d s . c o m
 
"The young man wears his heart on his shoulders." --ESPN Analyst and former Ravens' linebacker Ray Lewis, referring to Adrian Peterson. Ray, you dumbass, the saying is "heart on his sleeve." - Anonymous

Chuck & Cletus Random Video

 

4,859,599 Total Page Views Since Sep 11, 2009
940 views today, 5 People on the Site NOW

Rand-O-Matic

Hewlett-Packard To Introduce FoodJet 2000

Offensive Article Removed From Website

Police Seek Clues In Serial Trailer Arsonist Case

Mount Rushmore Icon Recovered

 

ChuckAndCletus.com is a Humor-oriented site featuring Fake Satire News, Funny Pictures and Photos, Commentary, etc. all centered around helping you waste time in the most efficient, stupid way possible on the internet. Nothing here should be taken too seriously unless you're either a prick or just have nothing else better to do. In either case, go away; we've been sued enough.

Really stupid funny pictures, photos, satire, commentary, news,
Panthers Agree On Four Neck Surgeries For Newton
By Chuck - Tue, Sep 10, 2013

Newton Taking Some Time Off

Newton Taking Some Time Off

On the heels of Peyton Manning’s stunning success after his multiple neck surgeries, the Carolina Panthers have announced that they are scheduling their derailed superstar for some of the same.


Cam Newton, who had a stellar rookie season in 2011 by throwing for over 4000 yards and rushing for over 700, fell off just slightly in his second season and appears headed down the wrong road after the first two games of the new campaign. “He’s ripe for the kind of success afforded Mr Manning,” said owner and founder Jerry Richardson, who also made Newton contractually agree to not getting any tattoos as long as he is the face of the franchise.

Coach Ron Rivera is pleased about the announcement and pointed out that Newton “will come back faster, just based on his age.” Manning, by comparison, had his last neck surgery at age 35 and had difficulty regaining strength while returning to top form.

While Newton has not been injured in any way relating to his neck or shoulder area, the team still feels like it’s the right thing to do as they believe Newton is a much better athlete than Manning ever was and that he will benefit from the downtime. The only question now is when to begin the surgical procedures. “We will watch for any particularly series of poor performances, whether that’s halves of football or multiple games which result in a diminished chance of making the playoffs, which is what this is all about,” stated Richardson.

Newton, 24, is excited about the opportunity for improvement. “Now that my father is no longer in control of my football future, I am eager to learn from Hall of Famer Jerry Richardson and Super Bowl Champion Ron Rivera and look forward to doing whatever it takes to lead this team to our own championship,” Newton stated.


1969
Rated 0.00/5 (0 Votes)

O L D E R

Local Man Changes Morning Routine

older stories

Greensboro, NC (Associated Press) Officials in the mid-state region known as the Piedmont have revealed that a local man in Greensboro, North Carolina, has altered his morning routine.

N E W E R

Reid Steps Down As Coach Of Chiefs

newer stories

Kansas City, MO (Associated Press) During a tumultuous week in the NFL when serious injuries to numerous key players dominated headlines, the Kansas City Chiefs are reporting that head coach Andy Reid stepped down earlier today.

 
Satire We Wrote - Funny Photos - Pirated Comics - Stuff Fer Sale - Commentary - About US - admin
All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owner. The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © by me, Sandra Dee, Chuck, Cletus and Cecil.
Only 3 small animals were hurt while building the site, 2 of which were crushed under Chuck's truck. We are not responsible for anything written when Cecil's been drinking.

Database Design and Site Development by RCG - © Copyright 2017